Tonight while driving home with our one year old shrieking from the back seat, I realized how much we have grown in parenthood. She had thrown her favorite blanket on the ground, (which she does repeatedly every car ride.) This time her blanket was trapped in an area that I couldn’t reach. She started crying hysterically when she realized that I wasn’t making a move to get it. As I sat there listening to her pleas for help, I realized how far we have come in parenthood. About five years ago, when our oldest was a baby, I would have had a hard time letting her cry. I didn’t enjoy when she was uncomfortable and it absolutely made me fall apart when I felt like there was nothing I could do to help her feel comfortable.
As our one year old cried, I thought to myself, I think it’s okay for her to cry and feel disappointed. In fact, it may even be good for her to experience a little discomfort. There is no doubt that all 3 of our children are going to get knocked down by the world at some point. How much better will it be for them when the world comes to break them, if they have felt a little discomfort in the safety of our parenting. I want them to know that their dad and I love them, but we aren’t able, and won’t, provide them complete happiness 100% of the time.
It is very easy to spoil our children and give them things or allow them to get away with behaviors because it makes them happy. The problem with this is that they don’t understand that we live in a sinful world. We need discipline and a lifeline to God to make it through to our eternal home. They don’t understand that if we give them everything they want, it won’t lead them down the path to happiness. They don’t know that these things they are chasing are not what is best for them. It is then our responsibility as parents to guide them to what they do need. Are they going to be unhappy with us? Absolutely! Will they thank us for it later? Probably not, but we can always hope :). Do I feel like it will lead them to a closer relationship with God? Yes. I think that is the ultimate goal, isn’t it? I would certainly allow my children to walk through some disappointment, hurt, and plenty of other yucky feelings if I felt like they were walking to God on the other side of it.
I do know that it is terribly hard to allow our children to walk through these things. I think it is hard for God to see us walk through hard things as well. I am pretty sure that we would love having our kids come to us for comfort when it is all said and done and even through the process. God is wanting the same thing from us. When life gets hard, He is there. He is willing to walk us through all the hard stuff to get to Him. How much better it feels on the other side when we can run into our loving Father’s arms for comfort.
So dear children of mine, are there going to be times when your dad and I allow you to walk through hard stuff without rescuing you? Yes, there will be plenty of times and those days are going to be hard on all of us. Just know that we love you unconditionally and that you will have a deeper understanding of God’s unconditional love for you as well. An easy life is not always the most life giving. Walk the hard roads and lean into your Creator when you do. We love you!